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Sebastian
Pink Pearl Parent Guru
His Story
At just 5 years old, Sebastian and his siblings were placed in foster care, while his mum received treatment for cancer. This was an experience that shaped his understanding of how children navigate loss and adapt to new surroundings. His memories from that time offer a unique and personal insight into the emotional challenges faced by children in care.
Throughout his childhood, Sebastian encountered all 10 Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)—factors known to increase the likelihood of emotional difficulties later in life. Despite these challenges, with the support of a strong network and time, he transformed potential obstacles into strengths.
Sebastian came out as gay at 18, and for many years, he believed marriage and family life were out of reach. Although he thrived professionally in designing learning programmes, he struggled with his mental health throughout his early twenties.
With the unwavering support of his family and friends, Sebastian found a renewed perspective on life, rebuilt his mental health, and went on to develop a successful career in learning and development.
In 2020, Sebastian and his husband, Patrick, became foster carers, opening their home and hearts to children in care.
Now in his 40s, after attending both inspiring training workshops and less engaging online courses, Sebastian decided to merge his 25 years of expertise in learning and development with his lived experience as a foster carer. His goal? To create practical, focused online courses that equip foster carers and parents with the tools they need to support children in their care.
Patrick
His Story
After a successful career in the fast-paced service industry, where he thrived under pressure, Patrick began his journey into fostering.
He used his experience to co-develop a Work Experience and Development programme with the charity United Response, helping people with special needs or who are neurodivergent gain valuable skills and employment opportunities.
While working with the charity, Patrick saw first-hand how the right support can transform lives. This deeply resonated with him and changed his perspective on fostering.
Patrick and Sebastian always dreamed of having children, initially thinking they would adopt. However, Patrick's work highlighted the unique challenges faced by children in the care system, who always have always experienced some level of trauma. He realised that supporting these children would require the same kind of personalised, compassionate care he had seen succeed at the charity. This understanding made fostering the clear choice for their family.
Patrick knew that children who have been through trauma need flexible and adaptable care, along with caregivers who can respond to their changing needs. His professional and personal experiences have prepared him well for this important role.
Friends and colleagues describe Patrick as calm, thoughtful, patient, and intelligent. These qualities make him a steady presence both at work and at home, helping him stay objective and level-headed even in emotional situations.
Being diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 40 gave Patrick personal insight into the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals. This has deepened his understanding of how misunderstandings can occur between neurodivergent and neurotypical perspectives. He recognises that a child's difficult behaviours—like acting out, tantrums, or seeming lazy—often hide deeper struggles and need empathy and understanding.
Patrick has developed his parenting skills by blending therapeutic parenting techniques with practical, traditional methods. He also draws on management strategies from high-pressure work environments and his experience supporting people with special needs or neurodiversity. This unique mix of skills helps Patrick navigate the complexities of fostering with resilience, adaptability, and compassion.
Online education as it should be
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